my milkshakes bring all the boys are the yard and they’re like “your friend is hot”
my mom just looked at a spider at our kitchen and yelled “why do you have to be like that? you dont need that many eyes or legs you need to stop”
Me when I’m the next one to present in class
knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
That was deep
philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie
That was deeper.
common sense is knowing that ketchup isn’t a damn smoothie you nasty
When a game has “And you.” in the special thanks section of the credits.
walking out of a bathroom with no hand dryers like